Deirdre

Deirdre (self-titled CD)

Genres: Positive / New Thought

Price: $13.99

Songs and Samples

One
Bluebird
Only Love
The Goddess
Peace
Emma's Song
The Way Through
Mercy
I Am Willing
Love

Some Nice Things People Have Said

"Deirdre," Deirdre Jenkins' self-titled CD, is a work filled with mystical musical landscapes that brings us, the listeners, into another world, a world filled with possibilities. Deirdre's singing is seductive, bewitching, otherworldly. What a captivating voice. What beautiful songs. What a world, that world of possibilities. It makes me want to believe again.
- Mary Gauthier

About Deirdre

The Luna moth, a symbol of sensuality and transformation, alighted on pussy willows is my personal totem. The pussy willow’s buds come out in late winter – emerging from the cold and dark. I admire nature that endures and even blooms in harsh circumstances. Perhaps that’s why I tattooed a luna moth on my shoulder.

I specifically chose a Luna moth over a butterfly. I think of the butterfly as the beauty pageant version of transformation. That does not describe me. My journey has been one of isolation, harsh conditions, and exquisite beauty; a study in the struggle for metamorphosis. Surrendering. Then receiving the grace that realigns the limitations that veiled my consciousness and my reality.

My story as an artist has more to do with trying to transcend my life’s circumstances than art. Music has been my escape, my lover, my hopes and dream--it has been my savior and my prayers. It has been all I had to give and everything that I have strived for. Music is where I have sought to become whole and real and purposeful. Music, the simple treasure in my hand and the unreachable destination, a mystical balance of riches overflowing and deprivation.

Until recently, I have grown up feeling that my life, my history, was my nemesis. The tragedies that I have walked through have been powers greater than myself. I have identified with the events of my life to the degree that I believed that they were me. It has taken my lifetime up to now, to see that the struggling and the burdens that I bared were just where I was, rather than who I was. The real me, the I, finally being recognized for who I am, is the witness of my story. Who is deirdre? I am just consciousness unfolding, love being realized, faith being revealed in action. Where has deirdre been? All over the map.

My parents were both beautiful and tragic. My father was a pilot and not present for much of my early childhood, fighting in Vietnam then flying commercial jets. He died in a motorcycle wreck on Christmas Eve when I was only seven. My mother carried the burden of being alone, broken hearted and depressed at a young age with two small children. Little Deirdre felt completely lost. I hated God. I was violent towards others and myself. When I was twelve I jumped over a banister with a rope around my neck. The rope, not tied tightly enough, broke free of the railing.

At thirteen, I was free-basing cocaine and flying to Miami with a drug dealer, touching a darkness that left me sick and scarred. At fourteen, I became completely paralyzed with Guillian Barre Syndrome and was hospitalized for three months. I lay in that bed exhausted from the abusive life I was living, unable to speak because of a respirator tube that was keeping me alive. I came to believe that if I were going to have a life that amounted to anything, I would have to be responsible for making that happen. Not an easy task, when you don’t trust yourself or anyone else. But, I wanted to heal.

I had to face the terrifying thought that no one could ever love me and that I could never be forgiven for the darkness that I had touched - that I had let touch me.

So I sought desperately to rise above my life. In my attempt to transcend my feelings and pain I found that I was no longer connected to myself at all. I was trying to look normal, and sadly failing at it. I searched. I tried on other people’s Gods and ideas of “ how to over come your circumstances” and still, I became consumed with a soul sickness that took me to a bottom after many years. In that glorious, dark bottom of my life, I called out to a God that I hated and asked for help. What showed up was a force of love and goodness that I wanted to give my life to.

Only recently has it become even clearer to me, why I so relate to the Luna moth and pussy willow. Through my sensuality and music I am emerging and blooming. I love myself today and I love that my God-given talents may be of service to help others heal.

-Deirdre